|
Sheila Jean Garry was born on May 22, 1949, to Edward and Betty (Clarke) Garry in Kansas City, Missouri. She was raised alongside her older brother Clarke and younger sister Shawna.
She graduated from the University of Missouri—Kansas City, where she was very involved in their theater program. This led to an opportunity during the Vietnam War to join the USO tour of the northern command with UMKC’s production of Hello, Dolly! The troupe quickly realized the soldiers weren’t fully invested in this classic musical and added excerpts from Hair.
While she loved the theater so dearly she married two actors, she chose to enter the field of nursing, receiving a BSN from Avila College and serving as a registered nurse in many hospitals, the last St. Vincent’s in New York City.
Through her close-knit community of actors and performing artists in the city, she met Paul Avery, her husband of 42 years. They were married at their home in Blairstown and she soon became a fixture of the local community. She loved Blairstown but maintained her Midwestern sensibility, often repeating Calvin Trillin’s quote to her daughters: “Despite all evidence to the contrary, you are being raised in Kansas City.”
Her background in nursing and the theater gave her the perfect combination of skills and compassion for her role as community educator and counselor, first for the Domestic Abuse and Rape Crisis Center of Warren County (now known as DASACC) and then SAFE in Hunterdon County. She supported and advocated for survivors of abuse and assault, emotionally exhausting work that could only be accomplished by someone with her empathy and determination. As an extension of her role, she worked extensively with the New Jersey Coalition Against Sexual Assault on statewide initiatives. Throughout her 25-year career in the field, she mentored and inspired generations of women advocates.
Sheila expressed her artistic side especially through her home. She filled it with carefully curated collections, beautiful antiques, refurbished furniture, and architectural flourishes that reflected her personality. Nobody who entered her pink oasis in the woods ever forgot it. Her skill with handicrafts was unparalleled; she could pick up any skill and do it to a level of quality few could match. Whether it was stenciling, sewing, quilting, embroidering, reupholstering, cross-stitching, decoupaging, wallpapering, or rehabilitating antiques, if you could name it, she could learn it. Her home was a work of art, and she gifted so much of her work to others as well.
After her retirement, she found her greatest joy in being part of her grandchildren’s daily lives. She suffered a stroke, but she continued to be a witty friend, doting parent and grandparent, and loving partner. She delighted in the companionship of her friends and loved to read, the combination of which led to the initiation of a rollicking monthly book club. Getting together with her daughters, son-in-law, and grandchildren was her favorite activity, and after their frequent gatherings she often reflected on how lucky their little family was to truly enjoy each other’s company.
She is survived by daughter Kyle Avery of Astoria, New York; daughter Parker Sanchez, son-in-law Pablo, and grandchildren Avery and Duncan of Hardwick, New Jersey; and dozens of devoted friends.
Donations may be made to DASACC In Memory Of Sheila Garry Avery.
A tragic house fire took the lives of Sheila Garry Avery and her husband, Paul Avery, on June 16, 2026. The obituaries for both Paul and Sheila can be found on the link provided. https://www.newbaker.com/obituaries/Paul-Sheila-Avery?obId=48754135
|
Larry Arlan
i read the artilce and thought ...that must be a class mate..not really registering that she was in fact a classmate..terrible..damn shame..i dont remember too much about sheila..but its an awful note and an awful way to die..thoughts are with her family..
Lynn McCarty (McCarty)
Saw a comment online from someone who said Sheila was a force to be reckoned with. True! A great friend from Border Star on... No words, Many tears. We will miss you, Sheila. Say hi to Cindy. RIP..
As time passes I've been thinking more about my friend Sheila and less about her death. I remember her awesome stage presence in numerous literary society events and school plays. I remember her lovinng Dr Kildare as much as I did, and listening to his album over and over again. (Google Hi-Li Hi Lo by Richard Chamberlain to get a feel for teenage obsession. In retrospect I probably owe her brother and sister, Clarke and Shawna an apology for playing a role in their ear worm back then). I remember Sheila's political activism. Like Kathy Salzer Smith, I remember walking to school with them. Her house on Greenway Terrace. And years later her telling me her sad tale of woe being in New York with a baby, crying because her husband had left. And then meeting her husband Paul who was a great husband and dad, and both chuckling about her first husband wanting her back. Sheila and Paul were a great couple. I'm so glad she had such a wonderful life with him and their children. That makes me smile.
Sandra Donath (Collins)
What a horrible way to die! God, rest their soul. Pray their family can heal from this.
Kathy Salzer (Smith)
I remember many days of walking to Border Star and Southwest High with friends Lynn and Sheila. Sheila was a beautiful person and always had goals on the artistic side of life. So sorry to learn of her passing.
Jan Donovitz (Shulkind)
This is so sad. I saw this in the news and knew it was my friend Sheila from Southwest and UMKC. Many fun memories from our years there. I knew her when she was married to her first husband, John Bruce, an actor at UMKC.
Jean Donovitz (Bratt)
Every once in a while, Sheila's picture comes up on my Facebook page. We were friends in high school, but even better friends when we were going to UMKC amd we were interested in the Theatre department, Sheila more than me, but we went to all the plays, did some volunteer work and and really connected to the Theatre department. We even were friendly with her first husband, John Q Bruce, Such a fun and funny man. She will be missed and I hope she still pops up on my Facebook feed. May you be a blessing.
Jean Donovitz Bratt
Nancy Ball (Clein)
Such devastating news! Sheila was a huge part of my life since Border Star days. I have so many memories of Brownie/Girl Scouts and classes together. Sheila was a confidante, and she always passed me multiple-page notes in her beautiful handwriting. She was so smart and funny. My parents loved her. I enjoyed her husband's work on All My Children, and I send much love to their daughters and families. Until we meet again, my friend. Save me a seat.Mary Armstrong (Fangmann)
Sheila was a wonderful friend who was very talented and compassionate person. We had some great times together at Southwest. She was very witty and had a great sense of humor. I remember many slumber parties we attended. I was lucky to continue our friendship after High School even after she moved away from Kansas City. She will be missed by many! RIP!
Deborah Sandbrook (Ritz)
Sheila was one of my best friends in high school. Her talents were so many. I especially remember her emotional performance in the literary society contest. Gives me goose bumps to this day. Her sense of humor was tops. Sitting at Winsteads, waiting what must have been a really long time for our vanilla cokes, she said "Did they have to go to India for the spices?" She was a beautiful person, inside and out and will be terribly missed by all those who had the privilege of having her friendship.
Richard Kaiser (Kaiser)
Very sory to hear of Sheila's passing. I remember her from Southwest. She was always friendly and a happy and upbeat person. Sending prayers to her family